Proudly Commando

Commando Boy is an adorable blond cherub who always says “please” and “thank you.” His good manners are refreshing and endearing. I was nothing short of honored when he asked to speak to me personally about his predicament.

Commando Boy: I think I peed myself a little bit.

Me: Just a little? No problem.

I retrieved a plastic grocery bag after asking him if he had any change of shorts, which he did not. Then we marched to the bathroom where he entered a stall with the bag while I stood outside in order to give instructions.

C.B.: What now?

Me: Take off your pants.

I could hear a struggle within the stall.

Me: Wait. Pull up your pants. Take off your shoes.

Now take off your pants. That done?

C.B.: Yeah.

Me: Now take off your underwear and put it in the bag. Where the underwear was, is there alot of pee on it?

C.B.: No, I only peed a little.

Me: Great, put your pants back on.

C.B.: WHAT?!?

Me: Put your pants back on.

C.B.: I can do that?

Me: Yes.

C.B.: I can wear pants with no underwear?

Me: Yes.

C.B.: Have you done it?

Me: Yes, everyone has done it.

He came out of the stall, shoes on, tainted underwear in a plastic shopping bag, ready to get back to some serious playground time after washing his hands.

Me: No hanging upside down on the playground, okay? You don’t want the world to know that you’ve got no underwear on.

He nodded.

We ran into one of the Ithaca College students who works with the program.

C.B.: Guess what, I’m not wearing ANY UNDErWEAR!

Me: *sigh* Commando Boy, you might not want to tell everyone that you aren’t wearing any underwear. Some kids might make fun of you. I’m not saying that you have any reason to be ashamed. There is nothing to be ashamed of and it happens to everyone but you might want to keep it to yourself.

Again he nodded.

We walked to the playground hand in hand.

C.B.:(To the entire playground) GUESS WHAT? I’m not wearing ANY UNDERWEAR?!

The whole world quickly knew he had no underwear on and to my knowledge, no one said a word to him about it.