Coolest Toy Ever: N-STRIKE VULCAN EBF-25 blaster!

This is the coolest toy ever. It is a car wreck of fetishized violence. It is offensive. It trivializes gun violence everywhere.

I must have one.

Yes, why yes, it is belt fed.

Bob and Kat have one and let me squeeze off a few rounds. It is nuts.

NOTE to people who care about me who might buy me shit: I don’t really want one. As a matter of fact, the last thing I need is more chachki crap around the house.

Advertisements

28 thoughts on “Coolest Toy Ever: N-STRIKE VULCAN EBF-25 blaster!

  1. I have a “six barrels, no waiting” nerf Gatling gun from my White Wolf days, when the company gave them out to every employee as a conflict resolution tool.

    I worry that its belt would jam.

    Say what you will about fetishizing violence (and I totally agree that young children, especially, shouldn’t be using war toys); when I took my blended family children out into the field with nerf weaponry and boffer swords, we were able to beat each other up without actually harming anyone, and a lot of intra-sibling pressure was thus relieved.

    • I think the vast majority of boys, at least, will make guns whether or not you give them to them. My mom (who would only give me the GI Joe who came with a mobile missile launcher because it didn’t have a rifle or pistol!) wouldn’t ever give me gun toys and then one day watched me, despairingly, turning y-shaped sticks into guns.

      • My absolutely pacifist cousin and her husband refused to allow any “violent” toys in their household, so their sons chewed food into “gun” shapes. There’s really no way to avoid that kind of thing.

      • My absolutely pacifist cousin and her husband refused to allow any “violent” toys in their household, so their sons chewed food into “gun” shapes. There’s really no way to avoid that kind of thing.

      • My absolutely pacifist cousin and her husband refused to allow any “violent” toys in their household, so their sons chewed food into “gun” shapes. There’s really no way to avoid that kind of thing.

    • I think the vast majority of boys, at least, will make guns whether or not you give them to them. My mom (who would only give me the GI Joe who came with a mobile missile launcher because it didn’t have a rifle or pistol!) wouldn’t ever give me gun toys and then one day watched me, despairingly, turning y-shaped sticks into guns.

    • I think the vast majority of boys, at least, will make guns whether or not you give them to them. My mom (who would only give me the GI Joe who came with a mobile missile launcher because it didn’t have a rifle or pistol!) wouldn’t ever give me gun toys and then one day watched me, despairingly, turning y-shaped sticks into guns.

  2. I have a “six barrels, no waiting” nerf Gatling gun from my White Wolf days, when the company gave them out to every employee as a conflict resolution tool.

    I worry that its belt would jam.

    Say what you will about fetishizing violence (and I totally agree that young children, especially, shouldn’t be using war toys); when I took my blended family children out into the field with nerf weaponry and boffer swords, we were able to beat each other up without actually harming anyone, and a lot of intra-sibling pressure was thus relieved.

  3. I have a “six barrels, no waiting” nerf Gatling gun from my White Wolf days, when the company gave them out to every employee as a conflict resolution tool.

    I worry that its belt would jam.

    Say what you will about fetishizing violence (and I totally agree that young children, especially, shouldn’t be using war toys); when I took my blended family children out into the field with nerf weaponry and boffer swords, we were able to beat each other up without actually harming anyone, and a lot of intra-sibling pressure was thus relieved.

  4. I have a “six barrels, no waiting” nerf Gatling gun from my White Wolf days, when the company gave them out to every employee as a conflict resolution tool.

    I worry that its belt would jam.

    Say what you will about fetishizing violence (and I totally agree that young children, especially, shouldn’t be using war toys); when I took my blended family children out into the field with nerf weaponry and boffer swords, we were able to beat each other up without actually harming anyone, and a lot of intra-sibling pressure was thus relieved.

  5. I think the vast majority of boys, at least, will make guns whether or not you give them to them. My mom (who would only give me the GI Joe who came with a mobile missile launcher because it didn’t have a rifle or pistol!) wouldn’t ever give me gun toys and then one day watched me, despairingly, turning y-shaped sticks into guns.

  6. My absolutely pacifist cousin and her husband refused to allow any “violent” toys in their household, so their sons chewed food into “gun” shapes. There’s really no way to avoid that kind of thing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s