What do you want?

That’s a pretty great question. This journal would be incomplete if I didn’t write down what I wanted, what I expected and what I hoped for out of this period of my life.

I want to be a writer. I’d love to get paid to make shit up. Of course, it is far more complicated than that. I have a novel about ready to be sent to literary agents and a side project which could be really nifty but won’t mention here until it is quite a bit farther along, lest I jinx it.

If I could put together my dream life I’d be a full-time writer and I’d volunteer at an adult literary organization and teach people to read, maybe spend a little time at an after-school program with a teen writing group.

But life isn’t that tidy.

At this point I am looking for a job that is fun, challenging and meaningful while paying the rest so that I can write. It needs to leave me with the energy to write at the end of the day or maybe I need to find the energy to write at the end of the day no matter what.

I am a week or two of hard studying away from being ready to take the GRE’s. I’m considering getting a Masters, finding a niche within the school system that utilizes my ability to deescalate and connect with those zany teenagers. But I want to work some more on the afore mentioned writing project and get a bit more ahead on the novel before that.

Truth is I’m dragging my feet on getting a Master’s like a 5 year old who doesn’t want to be shopping in the mall anymore. You know those kids who are holding their parent’s hand and just fall limp, crying and wailing? That’s me when confronted with the thought of getting my Master’s Degree.

If I don’t get this job I will already have my substitute teaching forms in to the local schools and I’ll have to re-prioritize. I have other bits, Plan B’s and C’s and D’s, Exit Plans, Emergency Protocols and Mad Ideas that aren’t worth writing down.

What do you want?

Simply, I want more time to write.

The comment button is right down there. Click it and tell me, what do you want?